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beautiful__suicidexx
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Name: Michelle
Metro:
Gender: Female
Interests: you.
Expertise: you (:
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/29/2005
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| karma really DOES exist to bite you in the ass (: have fun with swine flu, darlingg! | | |
| the last time i saw him, like.. fuckin almost two months ago.. like wrklewjrlkejwrkj went down. and then after that, he pretty much stopped talking to me. like wtf? asshole much? | | |
| how my mom's been taking all my dad's shit outta her room and either throwing it away or storing it down here in our fucking disgusting basement. yeah yeah i know it's been almost three years (god, really?).. but she can find other places to put these things, she didn't even ask me or em or neil about these things before she threw them out. wtf.
also, idk wtf i'm gonna do for halloween. it's prob gonna fuck me over. | | |
| i think.. it might be best if i was single around christmastime. not that i don't love jamie, obviously.. but like, i'd just feel better. i'd feel like less of a burden or obligation to him, i don't want him to have to be at my beck & call. idk. we weren't together last christmas as i remember, but that's not why. and then obviously the whole chris situation near my dad's birthday didn't blow over well at all.. soo.. i don't want that to happen again =/. | | |
| so my ocd has definitely kicked into overdrive due to this swine flu ordeal. i should probably get the shot, but like, if i get it at school i don't want everyone to see me cry like a baby lmfao. anywayss, i'm super happy it's friday, though i have a really busy weekend andd i have two papers to write :(. boo. buttt i'm just gonna relax tonight, not stress like i've been doing all week. probs going to see saw 6 or the stepfather or some shit with bailey.. idk lol. like lately i've been reflecting on how i'm pretty sure i was wayyy happier in seventh and eighth grade. i consider those to be the best years of my life (so far), even despite the fact that i hadn't experienced more than puppy love or anything like that. i was way more carefree, and i gave no thoughts at all to the future. i just wonder what my life would be like had i not met anyone in my life, you know? like even people who i rarely talk to or even see or i'm not even that close to. fallon, for example. we can hang out and it'll be like nothing's changed, but i never see her. and yet, if i never met her or for some reason she was no longer in my life, that would affect me. idk, it's weird. i miss like everyone i used to see all the time a wicked lot, it sucks dude, but like my weekends are SO busy and i always have so much stupid homework during the week. i feel bad that i don't spend nearly enough time with my friends. also, i miss jamie, but i really want to show him that i support him going to college in cali since i know that's what he wants to do. and i don't want him to feel bad about being so far away, because he's finally clean and living out his life dreams. how can i try to diminish that? his happiness..
senior year has made me very contemplative, i must sayy. i just wonder what's gonna happen when i get to college? what will change or stay the same? and will where i go effect how i do things, or my way of life? idk, i need to get away.. but more from myself lol.
butt anyways... i'm really happy today i had like nothing to do all day.
human nature - sub, just read an article and wrote a summary or some shit.
philosophy - sub, just wrote my weekly reflection.
gym - fitness friday. lol
writing 104 - went to mock trial.
pi - sub, did nothinggg.
it was so relaxing ahhh it put me in such an awesome mood toooo. | | |
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